The Art of After "Quitting"

Hello! I'm Niña (neen-ya) Mata and I'm so excited to be your guest blogger for this month!

SCBWI NJ Conference '25...so profesh!

November has always been a month to reflect for me. So, I thought I'd start by sharing my journey as an illustrator -- and how I almost quit.

It's a story I've shared often in college visits and even for a keynote speech at last years NJ-SCBWI, and now here, in hopes it resonates with someone trying to figure out if they're going about this the right way. 

If you're feeling frustrated, waiting for someone to respond, wondering if things are suppose to be this slow...yeah...you've probably made more progress than it feels. 'Cause a decade since I started...I'm still trying to figure it out myself. 

I started this journey in 2010 after quitting my day job as a graphic designer. I had no savings, student loan debts kept me up at night, and I had absolutely no idea how to even get started. But I loved illustrating, I had a goal to be published, and just the right amount of delulu to give it a GO. 

I'd printed out these DIY postcards I made with my all-in-one printer that ran out of ink right when I turned it on...

For months I waited to hear back from publishers but was met with...silence. Until one day an art director called. They loved my postcard and wanted to hire me!

My first illustration job was quickly followed by my first (and hopefully only) kill fee...

I talk about this in detail in my personal blog if you're interested. You can read the whole story here. It's even got pictures...who am I without pictures!! :)

Long story...long (lol) I kept drawing anyway.

Eventually, Christina Tugeau of The CAT Agency took me under her wing. Her guidance was an absolute lifesaver, and in 2011, she helped me land my first book contract. 

I was going to be published! For a while this was IT. I was illustrating editorial pieces and educational books and I was getting paid to draw! Yay! Mission accomplished...Right?

Kind of? Only I wasn't doing work that reflected who I was or creating stories that truly mattered to me. My art wasn't evolving either, not because of the work, but because I didn't know myself enough to understand what purpose really meant. 

Then life got lifing. I got married, became a parent, and we bought our first home. I now had real deal adulting bills, so I was also beginning to wonder if this career was even sustainable. Then there was this nagging question I've been avoiding for the longest time:

"What's next?"

I guess I'd been avoiding this question because I was afraid of the answer. That nothing's next. This is it. 

And so in 2017--7 years after I started this career, I told myself it would be my final year as an illustrator. 

I quit. 

But before I walked away, I wanted to do one thing. I just wanted to draw for me again. 

I started saying no to projects that no longer aligned with what I wanted to make and I played with different mediums and played with styles that fit my mom-life--the kind of style that lets you get as much done during "nap time". 

You remember that feeling during any senior year, when you knew something was coming to an end and you just allowed yourself to have fun and let loose? That's what my "quit year" felt like. Freedom to just be myself, get a little unhinged, and play. Something I hadn't done in a really long time. 

And somewhere in all this playing, I found a style I LOVED. One that fit into my life and allowed me to reflect stories I wanted to tell. One that felt like me.  

That spring I sent my agent this illustration.

I didn't make it for any other reason other than I just wanted to share something that reminded me of my summers growing up. 

My agent sent it out to publishers and a few months later it landed in the hands of an editor from HarperCollins and Olympic gymnast Laurie Hernandez who was looking for an illustrator for her picture book. 

That book was called 'She's Got This' and in 2018 it debuted on the New York Times bestsellers List. 

I would've never imagined that my first picture book would make me a New York Times bestseller. 

In a way, I did quit, in 2017.  I quit doing work I thought would please others and started sharing stories younger versions of me would appreciate. I quit telling my self that goals are immovable, and started expecting them to evolve with me. 

And so I'm still here. Still psyched when I get to sit in my office and turn a texture into art, a line into a plot, and weave a story out of it all.

So if you're somewhere in the middle of your own journey, wondering whether to keep going, I hope you give yourself the chance to find out what's beyond where you are right now and I hope you quit the unnecessary. Because when you finally reach that one goal you've been working towards, you'll most likely find that you're just getting started. 

For example, I'm an author now...something I still don't believe I get to call myself.  

No really, I go to therapy for this very reason. 

But that's a story for next week. 

K. Bye!

Niña Mata is an award winning author illustrator known for creating art for books like New York Times Bestseller I Promise by LeBron James and Ways to Make Sunshine by Renee Watson and the Geisel Honored I Can Read series Ty's Travels by Kelly Starling Lyons. 

She is also the author and illustrator of Girls to the Front: 40 Asian American Women Who Blazed a Trail and her debut picture book, NEW. 

Niña is the creator of Dear KidLit, a traveling sketchbook project that is sparking conversation within our KidLit community. You can find her on her IG page @ninamataart and www.ninamata.com.