Hello, hola and howdy!
We’ve come to the last post of the Creating while Caregiving series! I hope this has been a useful and honest look at the highs and lows of caring for others while saving time and energy for your creative needs. While I am able to speak to my own lived experience as a mother of four with extended family both next door and across the globe, there are many situations I cannot fully comprehend. For my final post I am sharing advice from others in the community experiencing various caregiving situations.
While not an exhaustive representation of caregiving situations, I hope the advice from this cross-section of kid lit creators offers you hope and help!
Creating while caring for Elders
The heaviness of eldercare has a markedly different effect on our energy than the frenetic, yet often joyous, task of childcare. I am thankful to Margarita Engle for composing this poem in which creative practice helps gather courage during sorrowful moments.
METAMORPHOSIS
Day after day, year upon year
I awakened as if nothing had changed.
Minutes for coffee were followed by hours
devoted to my task of scribbling daydreams
that gradually shape-shifted into books
on shelves
in schools
and libraries.
Exactly at 10:00 AM, the illusion of normalcy ended
day after day, year upon year, as I knocked on the door
of the memory care home, and transformed myself
into the person Mamá needed me to be, her primita
when she was a child, both of us jovencitas
en Trinidad de Cuba, hace 90 años…
Suffering from Alzheimers, my mother always called me
by her cousin’s name, instead of the one
she chose when I was a baby
and she still
knew me.
Without those treasured hours of scribbling
before 10:00 AM, day after day, year upon year,
I might have resented
my daily transformation
into a stranger
but as long as I could protect
my early morning daydreams
I felt grateful to become Anita,
la primita
my mother
needed me
to be.
- Margarita Engle
Creating while Caregiving from Afar:
In our conversation, author Mariana Llanos, originally from Perú, brought up the pressures of caring for family from afar. Distance is a complicating factor, whether family are a town or country away, but Mariana also spoke to financial pressures that many immigrants face.
Many immigrants/migrants care for family that remain in our home countries. En mi caso, I helped my father for many years. On the one hand, I had a guilt complex when I dedicated myself to “making art” in the United States rather than being hyper focused on making money. But later I learned that the best way to honor my parents was to take advantage of the opportunities in this country to cultivate my creativity and talent, which, after all, are a reflection of who they are.
Creating through Health Issues
Picture book author Harshita Jerath offered the following advice for holding on to creativity during health challenges.
During challenging seasons of my life, I’ve held onto creativity like it’s my lifeboat. Would you let go of your lifeboat in a storm? No, right? But sometimes storms are so powerful that you tend to lose grip of the lifeboat.
These are the few ways I’ve learned to find my way back to creativity:
Being gentle to myself: To me, that means resting, watching funny television series, reading Calvin and Hobbs, chatting with friends, and listening to music. Once I get my bearings back, I lean towards creating, which to me is writing and cooking.
Creativity with no expectation: I simply journal a lot during hard seasons of life. It is my way of letting go. When I don’t have anything to write about, I would still pick up my pen and write, “I don’t know what to write about…” and keep doodling. And that would lead to more writing, or not. The key is ‘no expectation.’
Creating as an Invisible Caretaker
Artist and educator Brenda Boykeni was kind enough to reach out and bring up the concept of invisible caregiving.
“Be sure to find a support system specific to your need, be it pet owner or medical caretaker, etc. Pets are forever toddlers with just as many needs and desires as human offspring but a shorter lifespan and higher probability of being replaced at least once. The logistical issues of being a medical caregiver compound with relationship tensions and create more stress. Find the support so you don’t feel alone. Multiple overlapping support systems are best.”
Creating while Teaching
Teachers already demonstrate superpowers and those who find time to ensure their own art has a chance to thrive inspire me beyond measure. I reached out to Nicholas Solis, whose latest book, The Poetry of Poo, is a collection of poems written to teach and entertain his students over the course of 20 years in the classroom.
My biggest tip for creating (and staying sane) while caregiving is to embrace the chaos. Whether I'm parenting or teaching, my environmental input is usually at a 10. This can have a negative impact, but I try to be more open to the positive. Over the years my brain has been trained to identify the seeds of stories all around me. Sometimes it is a full idea, and other times it is just a title or a way certain words string together. When you have the opportunity to be surrounded by the creativity and energy of the kids, ideas abound. The important thing is to always be open to them.
Another thing I try to do is find balance. There are days when it is too much and the sensory overload is maxxed out. Take some time, turn off the lights, and just sit. Allow yourself time to process your day and your ideas. You have to have balance in your life, but that can be especially difficult as a caregiver. By the end of the day you are tapped out, so carving out that little bit of time can be extremely hard. One of my goals this year is to take more walks without any devices; no podcasts, no music, no input. I want to take the time to reflect and create in a quiet space.
Final thoughts
That's a wrap on this month's exploration of Creating while Caregiving this month! These posts were drafted in transit, edited between back-to-school events and uploaded in between tech help sessions for my kids and my mother. They were also created using many of the methods mentioned such as sprints with my sprinting buddies and many discussions with friends in my creative community. I am deeply appreciative to everyone who has reached out with suggestions for fellow caregivers and comments on what resonates. Please continue to reach out as I would love to incorporate your credited feedback into future iterations of this series. And if there is a caregiver who works the night shift, please check out my upcoming picture book debut illustrated by the incredible Isabel Roxas, THE GOOD NIGHT SHIFT.bye, adios, chau-chowdy!
Read the previous posts in the Creating while Caregiving series:
Picture books that Help Caregivers Feel Seen!
Leaning on your Creative Community
Making time to Make Art
Próximamente este artículo estará disponible en español en La Cometa.
Romy Natalia Goldberg is a Paraguayan American writer and artist with a love for stories about culture and communication. She has lived throughout the Americas, including in Argentina, where most of her family is from. Her debut picture book, THE GOODNIGHT SHIFT, is an ode to the people, especially caregivers, who help keep our communities running at night. Illustrated by Isabel Roxas, it will be published by Scholastic/Orchard Press in April, 2027 with a forthcoming Spanish translation. To learn more and shout out night shift heroes in your life, visit www.romynatalia.com/the-good-night-shift
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